frightfest saturday 28
Wednesday, 01 September 2010 22:40
Garrisons, werewolves and middle-class house invasions all in one day: only at this year’s FrightFest. It’s this sheer curiosity that carries me to London’s West End this morning. For today is crucial. After a disappointing start to the festival - kudos to F – I was eager to get stuck into something gritty, something gory and certainly something with more substance than a wank-rag. I was in high hopes that today’s varied selection of films would quench my thirst and settle my apprehension that British horror is in need of waving its white flag...


The first of our three films today was Cherry Tree Lane, written and directed by London to Brighton’s Paul Andrew Williams. Taking to our seats it was obvious that this film needed to inspire and it needed to put to rest the demons from last night’s prolific failure. We were not the only ones who required Cherry Tree Lane to prove a point about British horror either; the tension was very much audible. “Turn your phone off” echoed from behind. “Yeah I am love” whispered in response. That’s caring I thought; this lady doesn’t want this chap’s phone to distract us whilst we’re watching the film, and he didn’t fancy kicking up a fuss. A unity of a niche passion - I thought - is what must drive people to look out for one another then, like some sort of a cult that I now feel a part of. Although when I was at a Glastonbury debate on tackling racism, a lady in the crowd began her comment with “Hello, brothers and sisters...” which was most definitely cringe-worthy.
Anyway, we wanted to watch this film and so did this guy who was midst turning off his phone in fear of any animosity. It seemed co-operation and respect is the key to this cult’s success then. “I can still see the light coming from your phone, turn it off now”. Okay, so perhaps persistence is the key. “It’s being turned off love” he replied, but alas came another complaint, “It’s still on - I can moan at you all day if you like...” As she continued to whinge about the phone, I wasn’t the only one feeling irritated. Clearly thinking people were in agreement with her (“brothers and sisters” style) she continued to bellyache before a voice from the front of cinema screamed “Shut up!” which was followed by a raucous burst of applause. Rule #1 of ‘Feeling Part of a Cult’: don’t presume people agree with you.
Cherry Tree Lane; very much a film of-the-moment then, and a film of stereotyped viewpoints borrowed from The Daily Mail and last night’s F. As a middle-class couple sit down to eat their dinner at their Muswell Hill home, sipping on their red wine, a knock on the door turns into - yet again – another Revenge of the Hoodies. There to seek vengeance on the couple’s son, the film sees the gang wait in his lounge until he arrives home from football. As chaos and violence ensue, we bear witness to a battle of the cultures. That’s gang culture, and, err, posh culture. This is the problem though; it’s very much a one-idea movie: all filler and no killer. They sit in the lounge, they argue in the lounge, they drink orange juice in the lounge, they steal his credit cards in the lounge, they smoke joints in the lounge and they even watch TV in the lounge. Banal isn’t even the word...
This could be the director’s motive though, to show us what really happens during these makeshift house invasions that aren’t Bruce Willis/guns blazing and all. For entertainment value though it required much more meat. Sure there are some shocking moments that question the state of our society, but the tension built throughout the film went to waste on its sudden climax. I just wish we had more than 5 minutes of gripping drama other than at the end. After a slow build-up, Cherry Tree Lane flowers a little too late and is over before you can say ‘hug a hoody’. Also, why do filmmakers believe the term ‘blood’ makes for a more fearful character? There’s no room for another Noel Clarke, and it’s usage in this film seemed forced and all too cliché.

The hype surrounding our next film was unprecedented. Everywhere you looked you couldn’t help but be reminded of what was about to go down in the Discovery Screen. Garrisons patrolled the area; mostly posing for photos with fans that carried Fanboys satchels filled with a range of freebies – from a copy of Total Film, to chocolates, to even DVD’s. Why such a high-profile promotion, possibly even the biggest out of all the FrightFest’s films you may wonder? Well, Fanboys isn’t exactly a new film (nor is it a horror). Made in 2008, Kyle Newman’s geek-homage has only recently been picked up by Anchor Bay Entertainment after a series of complicated problems. The promotion then can be seen as a desperate means to finally getting Fanboys out there, but today it excites, it unites and most of all it sets the scene for a truly anticipated movie.
Its 1998 and four childhood friends united by their love of all things Star Wars drunkenly decide to break into Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch in search of something special, something life-changing and something film-defining: a copy of Star Wars Episode 1. Its six months until the theatrical release but their friend Linus has only a mere four months left to live. This drives the bunch across the whole of America and we play witness to their antics and encounters along the way.
Fanboys is certainly a geek haven. It’s a love letter to one of the most fantastical movies of all time. It’s riddled with references - some of them subtler than others - and the cast undeniably take the film to another level. Alongside cameos from William Shatner, Carrie Fisher, Danny Trejo and even Kevin Smith & Jason Mewes, the actors who really hit you are the protégé’s of the ‘bromance’ period - the Judd Apatow generation. You’ve got Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel and Kristen Bell all of whom have been involved in an Apatow production. And it’s this fact that makes Fanboys a postcard from a time of bromantical hype. It’s undeniable that if this film had been released when it should have been (2 years ago) - alongside heavyweights such as Superbad, Knocked Up and The Hangover - then it would be a different story today. Then again it’s almost underdog appeal makes for a more alluring movie. Coming out this October, watch Fanboys you must...


Third time’s a charm right? Andrew and I decided to swap some spare tickets we had at the last minute to watch 13 Hrs, a British horror in the same vein (and the same pockets of the producers) as Dog Soldiers. The plot: a lady travels back to her family’s mansion after being away for a while to discover - amongst other things - drugs, destruction, deterioration, oh yeah and a werewolf. Your typical gore story then, where - slowly but surely - each character is mulled to death one by one. With a recognisable cast, most notably Gemma Atkinson & Tom Felton, it seemed rather promising if only purely as a gorefest.
With such a basic premise though, the film required much more than a bit of gore to get an audience to jump onboard. A scare factor perhaps, or some half decent characters, or even some nudity (hey, it’s worked before), but 13 Hrs lacked all of these. The relationships between the characters were hollow and regimented, I mean for fuck sake there’s more chemistry when I wipe my arse. We found ourselves laughing at the film’s ridiculous casting and the portrayal of some characters. There’s a truly uncomfortable moment when the younger dude from BBC 1’s My Family gives a heartwarming-i’m-going-to-miss-you-if-i-die-so-please-know-that-i-love-you speech to his sister. It verges on incestuous and seems all the more satirical than serious. Stephen, played by Peter Gadiot, was so utterly posh he made the ‘gap yah’ comedians seem like extras on Eastenders. In fact, watch that sketch instead. It’s better than the film.
During the Q&A, I’m glad there was a guy sitting behind us who was loud and rude. When the actors were asked about the make-up process and the bald cap that was used, the sarcasm that came from this guy’s mouth was genius and more than welcomed. “Oh no, not the dreaded bald cap, how ever did you cope.” Then it got better when the cast were asked how long it took for the bald cap to be put in place. My saviour shouted, “What, all of 5 minutes.” Thank you sir.
So there you have it; my Saturday at FrightFest 2010. It was rather long.






















